My Thank You Letter…
I am shy. How weird is that? I write a blog and thus one would think that I love talking about myself. Obviously! But the contrary is true. I must admit, I feel flattered when somebody asks me about my work / life, but honestly, I’d rather not talk about it. I let anyone read my thoughts online, but to present them in person is another thing which requires tons of self-confidence and pride.
And so, every time I meet with friends and they ask me about my blog, I stir the conversation away. Similarly, if they want to talk about my work, I come up with a boring answer, so the conversation ends before it starts. Sometimes I feel lonely, sometimes I feel loved. Sometimes I am satisfied with my work, other times I am not. I would love to be able to come up to anyone and say – this is what I do, this is what I achieved, this is what I am working towards and nothing can stop me. I used to be that cocky, confident, selfish girl but now? A lot has changed. I’ve changed.
Today, you can see me still wanting the same big things, but I lost my drive – at least that is what it seems like on the surface. I stopped talking about what I want, out of fear that I might not get it. If I fail, I tend to put all the blame on myself and never on anything or anyone else. I stopped seeing positive all around me and started finding problems and issues wherever I go. Simultaneously, I learnt to love challenges because they make me think in a better, more impactful (and I’d like to think more mature) way. I love reaching my goals, but I am less likely to discuss those with you now – at least not (yet) in person.
“Through writing, I become more open, honest, and a little more self-confident.”
Somebody writing about themselves all the time is actually scared to discuss many things face to face. Why is that? No idea, I am not a psychologist. But sometimes I wish I had a bit more courage to stand up and say – yes, this is what I do and am proud of. But even if my blog receives a hundred clicks in one day (which makes me extremely happy), I will still not be willing to talk to you about it. I am happy you get to know me a little better from reading my blog. Here, I show a perspective I am resistant to uncover in real life, some might call it the real me.
Through writing, I become more open, honest, and a little more self-confident. By reading these lines, you show that you care and that means so much to me. I apologise for not willing to share any insights about my blog with you in person but trust me, everything that matters can be found here, on ‘Czech check’. I cannot promise I will become more open in person, at least not for now, but by being interested in what I do, you show you believe in me. And for that I thank you.